As the elementary schools taught you, my friends, there are supposedly four basic mathematical operations: addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division; however, I do not believe in subtraction. I absolutely refuse to do anything but add negative numbers, not that there is any choice in the matter. It is true that one might argue that negative numbers are unnatural, but conceptually speaking, this is not a sound objection, for the mind is meant to reason conceptually.
A few days ago the Academy revealed my final grades for the second semester, and two of them had this insipid mark after them: -. What could it mean? Could it be meant to symbolize subtraction? Is my grade "A minus something?" Minus what, I wonder? What is more, what is the Academy to make an "A" anything less than an "A?"
Researching the chart that correlates letters with numbers (these numbers are called "grade point averages"), I found that an A is equal to 4, but I already knew that. Further investigation indicated that "A-" is a symbol meaning 4-.3, which makes 3.7. It all made sense then, except that I do not believe in subtraction.
In fact, what the symbol must mean is 4+-.3, which would indicate that the Academy is adding something to my final grade with which I quite simply had no involvement. Being that I did nothing to earn this strange addition to my final grade, for the sake of honest grade reporting, I believe it ought to be removed. It is true that I am sorry to give up my augmented grade, but an honest 4 is preferable to a confused 3.7 any day. I shall notify the Academy of this grievous error at once.
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