The Secrets of Time Travel

In order to successfully traverse time and space, one must first understand the past. Lacking the time and space to give an adequate history of everything, I instead intend to focus on one event.

In my last post, I gave my beloved readers a readable copy of of a certain piece of music, which I made. Since then, several errors have come to my attention, and I just now replaced these photographs with newer, more accurate, and neater photographs. I believe that this at last is an accurate representation of my pen and paper scrawl.

Now, having understood and altered the past, we come to the present. In this particular present, I intend to recall the past, and bring it forth once more. It is an article I wrote on time travel in June. It seems to have succeeded in its mission to time-travel to this date. I am pleased to see that my experiment worked.

Traverse Time and Space Today, Maybe Yesterday!

My friends! Today I have something very special for you. It is a time machine. Furthermore, it is a spaceship. You may choose to call it a space-time machine, if you like.

These machines are relatively inexpensive, and they are extraordinarily simple to use. A child could do it, as could a senile, elderly man. I have seen both do so in the past. In fact, I daresay a cripple could use it! I myself have had the pleasure of using one of these fine devices before, and I assure you that all I have said is true. It was delightful.

You must be wondering how this device works. First I shall review the spaceship function. To operate the spaceship, one needs only to take a seat in the cockpit and apply the primary means of locomotion. Quickly you shall find yourself flying through space with the greatest of ease.

The time machine function, being a more "cutting edge" technology, as the butcher says, is somewhat less freely utilized. The machine, you see, is only capable of traveling through time at a certain rate, and it can only as of yet move into the future. Be that as it may, the time machine is even easier to operate than the spaceship. One needs only to take a seat, close the eyes (though this is optional), and wait. When the time-traveler arises, he/she/it will be in the future. Of course, when he/she/it arrives, it will simply be called the present, but that is not at all the point.

I am certain, my friends, that you can scarcely contain your desire to obtain this miracle machine. I am equally certain that you are full of wondrous imagination as to the machine's appearance. Your dreams shall be fulfilled, for here it is, the SPACE-TIME MACHINE!

And that brings us to the future, where the music of the past and present shall reside. It is not without good reason that I refer to the aforementioned work as the Music of the Future, and this good reason is irony. Anyone with any sense will tell you that the Music of the Future actually consists of three very consonant chords, mostly in four very basic key signatures. In Roman Numeral notation, these chords are the I, the V, and the IV (in that order) of C major, G major, D major, and A major (not necessarily in that order), but more on this later. Right now it is only the Music of the Present.